The VMA's-- Can You Believe?

...Diddy's Cirque du Soleil meets David Copperfield pyrotechnic opening?

...his laxidasical dance moves? My 3-year old niece has more flair in her makeshift dance routines.

...R. Kelly's over the top lip synching antics? I laughed so hard realizing one thing's for sure Tyler Perry better watch out cause Kels has got the ghetto dramatics on wrap!

...how so not funny that comedian was-- did he actually say he would detonate his baby before allowing someone the satisfaction of a successful kidnap? (Eeeks!)

...how tacky Eva Longoria looked on stage in that swimsuit? She's like school in the summertime-- no class!

...how un-fresh hip-hop performances have become? Jamie Foxx and Kanye bouncing around the stage was so underwhelming (although I am excited about Late Registration).

...how wonderful Mariah sounded? Good move to do the remix, bad move to end by splashing in the pool!

...she's the same person that released Glitter a few years back?

...MC Hammer?

...Shakira's ability to gyrate, contort and wiggle?



...how bewildered you were when Luke and those dancers hit the stage?

...Paulina Rubio's sass when she removed Lil' Jon's arm from around her neck? Yea-ah!



...Gwen Stefani didn't win nary a Moonman? (MTV retribution for quipping about performing maybe?)

...the number of blonds in pop (Lindsay, Jessica & Ashley Simpson, Hillary, Gwen, Kelly and oh yeah Britney, Christina and Madonna)? Hair colorists are the interior designers of the beauty world. So paid!

BTW-- It's so ironic, almost fitting, that R&B's self-proclaimed whiz kid had a pantomime for a performance. It's so symbolic of the state of that musical genre right now. There's nothing new being said and live instrumentation is slowly being replaced, err subverted for adlibs, tricks and theatrics. And while I'm ranting let me say that Fat Joe and 50's beef came off like two men shooting spitballs at each other during the main course of a steak dinner at Ruth's Chris-- inappropriate, immature and oh so 90's. I may not think Greenday is all that, but at least rock-n-roll is making a hearty attempt to grow the frack up and make some noise up in this piece! Hollaback and let me know what you thought of the VMA's and music and MTV in general.